Emerald Eyes
by lady dove of the green eyes
Summary: These are the memories of the man who so desperatly wanted to be part of the warmth and compassion that surrounded Lily and James Potter, but who was always alone in the cold, dark box he'd built for himself, and who destroyed the very people he envied.
1. Prologue

Prologue: emerald eyes

Before opening the door to the class room, he paused catching his breath, and calming his nerves. Her son was in there. What would he do if he had to face those emerald eyes again?

He could remember the last time she'd looked at him. As they always had, those eyes held pity, and defiance but there had been something there the very last time he'd seen her eyes, something he'd put there. Helplessness.

Memory one: Pink

"POTTER!" Everyone in the great hall burst into laughter as Lily Evans stormed in to the great hall, her famous red hair dyed pink, by James' latest prank.

"Yes, my flower?"

"I WILL KILL YOU. YOU AND YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR SIBLINGS AND YOUR, YOUR CATS! YES I WILL KILL YOUR CATS POTTER!"

"A wee bit violent, don't you think Lily." Said James wincing.

"VIOLENT! I'LL GIVE YOU VIOLENT, POTTER!" she yelled, before whipping out her wand and brandishing it at him.

For the second time that morning the great hall shook with laughter. Even James laughed. He couldn't help it, it was funny. And so it was.

Everything about James Harold Potter, from his eye color to his toenails and his hair to his shoe laces, were bright magenta pink.

Like Lily's hair is right now, he thought bemusedly to himself from the other side of the room. Back across the great vastness of the sea of students was a giggling Lily and a nearly hysterically laughing James, trading insults as Remus Lupin returned them to their original colorings. Only the watcher on the other side of the room and a few very bright Ravenclaw seventh and sixth years see what is not spoken or even believed. The fourth year quditch star and the fire-headed book worm...


	2. memories one and two

Memory Two: Gallantly

As of late, Hogwarts had become extremely boring. The near hourly fights that had once occurred between James Potter and Lily Evans, had been set aside for the fragile truce they currently had operating between them.

The famous leader of the Marauders had stopped playing dangerous pranks, and Lily now had no reason to hex him. Peace had settled over Hogwarts castle for all but two.

He was restless with fear. It was the calm before the storm. He was intelligent enough to know that. It was a matter of weeks before Lily finally agreed to go out with James. He knew that.

There was only one other person who saw it coming, and feared it. The ever faithful dog who feared losing his best friend. The dog was growing ever more fearful. He feared that the dog would fall back on old habits. And so the dog did.

The night after the dog's "prank", James Potter could be found in the hospital wing, sleeping.

He was hiding behind a suit of armor, waiting for the inevitable, when it came.

She walked over to Dumbledore, who was guarding the door. Lily Evans. He knew she'd come. She'd want to know what exactly had happened. When she found out she'd be hypnotized by James' gallant nature.

They were like moths to flame, Evans and Potter. They were drawn to each other.

He couldn't watch this. He slipped out of his hiding place and walked slowly to the lake. He needed to think about what he'd done. He had allowed himself and the dog to become catalysts in the romance of Lily and James. He had not only allowed, but helped her slip through his fingers. But then again he was a coward. That was what cowards did. They let their lives slip through their fingers.

Long suppressed memories of his past and parents began surfacing. coward. Such a strong and painful word. He saw Peter sitting at the lake skipping rocks. The Griffindor traitor, he thought sadly. Peter had not betrayed the Marauders yet, but he could see it in his beady little eyes. He would betray them one day.

Memory Three: The Dark Lord

He did not like today's assignment. In truth it wasn't so much that he didn't like today's assignment, but that he would rather burn in the fires of Hell then be doing it.

He was though. He was retrieving the traitor. He was not happy at all about allowing the traitor into their ranks, but it was the Dark Lord's orders. 'Back stabbers will betray anyone,' he'd said. No one had listened though.

He didn't want to admit to himself that he just wanted to protect Lily. No. That was a dangerous line of thought, that must not be dwelled on.

A few months ago Lily and James had announced their engagement. As two famous auorors their coming nuptials had sent joy through out the wizarding community.

He shook these thoughts out of his head. He'd made the decision to serve the dark lord. If you could call it that.

He alone among all the death eaters recognized the Dark Lord's main character flaw. The Dark Lord was a coward. Just like he, himself was.

The age old cliché 'takes one to know one' wormed it's way into his head. He allowed the corners of his mouth to raise only slightly before stopping his grin. Grinning in front of the rat was a bad idea.

He spared a glance for the once marauder. Pitiful. The rat looked absolutely pitiful. He looked up and saw the building holding the Dark Lord's HQ. He sent Peter in, before retreating to the little wooded area by the building. He needed some alone-time to wonder what kind of devastating effect this could have. Making the traitor a death eater, of all the stupid things...


End file.
